Let's see what would happen if these characters actually dated
by I'll Cover Angel and Collins
Summary: or at least tried to ask them out! That's right, I'm taking every non-canon pairing you guys ship and I'm writing what would realistically happen or come the closest to it! There will be hardly any fluff and everyone will be in character as much as possible! This is going to be hilarious to write!
1. Trentney

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Courtney was sitting at the playa des loser writing angrily to her lawyers about how she wanted to sue the show again and how she wanted to personally sue Duncan for the unneeded stress he has caused her. She was typing away by the pool on her laptop while she plotted her own personal revenge on Duncan as well. So far she switched out his green hair dye with pink, so that was going to be fun to see.

Trent approached her with his guitar. He had written a song for her and wanted to ask her out. He spent about 3 hours writing it just for her. He wanted it to be perfect. He just now realized how beautiful she was.

"Courtn-" Trent tried to say but quickly got shhh'ed.

"Not now!" Courtney yelled at him. "I'm in the middle of plotting revenge!"

"Yeah, but eventually you'll be done." Trent told her. "I'll just wait."

"I'm going to be awhile." Courtney told him. "I already typed out how I want to sue Chef as being an accomplice to this unfair elimination and now I'm working on Duncan's! He's going to pay!"

"Yeah, but he's happy with Gwen." Trent explained to her. "So, maybe you can be happy too, You see I wrote you this song and I was hopi-"

"How can you be happy?" Courtney glared at him. "You're ex is dating my ex! Do you wanna sue too?"

"For what?" Trent asked her "Uh...I don't really want to cause any trouble, in fact I just want to play a song for you."

"Trent, I already explained to you that I don't have the time!" Courtney yelled at him. "Filing lawsuits, kinda busy! I'm sure the song is fine!"

"Courtney, I think that you should move on." Trent suggested "Maybe date a guy who realizes you're amazing and writes you songs!"

"Yeah, I wish." Courtney rolled her eyes. "Let's be realistic here, there is no guy who is kind and loyal like that around here."

"Hi, I'm Trent and I'm a kind and loyal guy who writes songs!" Trent yelled to her. "In fact, I have written a song specifically for you! I've been trying to play it for you but you've been really busy plotting revenge!"

"Oh..." Courtney realized. "Uh...I'm not really into you."

"What?!" Trent yelled "You just said you wanted a guy who writes songs! That's totally me!"

"Yeah, I wanted a guy who writes good music." Courtney laughed. "You're music really sucks! Not to mention I don't really know you that well, In fact I think I know Harold and Owen better than I know you."

"Then get to know me!" Trent told her. "Hello, Gwen is my Ex! This would be a perfect plan! We pretend to date and then get back at them!"

"I'm just going to stick to the pink hair dye." Courtney told him. "Thanks for the offer though."

"But you hate Gwen!" Trent tried to persuade her.

"Haven't you watched season 2?" Courtney asked him. "I was Team Gwen in your whole breakup."

"Yeah, I know." Trent glared at her. "Now you hate her though! So, wouldn't you be on team Trent?"

"No, I'm still team Gwen." Courtney informed him.

"Why?!" Trent demanded to know "Aren't you suing her?!"

"Yes." Courtney told him.

"So, why would you be team Gwen?!" Trent asked her.

"Because you were a loser on purpose." Courtney informed him. "At least Gwen tried to win. I could never date someone who would being willing to lose on purpose!"

"It was for love!" Trent told her. "Give me a break!"

"I cared about Duncan in season 1 and I was still willing to leave him in the woods while I ran off with the case." Courtney informed him. "I actually had the case, you just threw a bunch of stupid challenges. I risked a lot more than you."

"So?" Trent asked "Are you going to let me play the song?"

"No, Trent." Courtney told him as she started typing "You're still a loser in my book. Now if you'll excuse me I have better things to do with my time."

Trent gave up and decided she wasn't the girl for him. Courtney continued to contact her lawyers

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**Bring on the flames! I'm waiting for a bunch of people to start flipping out. So, yeah. Trentney...Why the hell do people ship this? I mean I don't think they have ever spoken. My view on this is that she would most likely shoot him down. He's very artistic and mellow and she's a high strung girl with an attitude and a passion for politics. So, I'm going to realistically do all the couples that everyone ships. If you want to take part in this, suggest some couples. I'm not doing anything that was or is canon. Yes, I will make fun of myself and eventually do Chris/Courtney as well. So, can you Trentney fans give me a good reason why they should be together other than. "Gwen and Duncan are dating, so their Ex's should date so everyone can be happy." **

**Let's see who here can make fun of what they support and who can't. **


	2. JustHer

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Justin was sitting down out by the pool at the playa with his sunglasses on and his shirt off and he was completely naked too, mirror in each hand. Unfortunately for Heather this was the day she also decided to go to the pool to tan, actually she didn't have a choice because LeShawna was annoyed with her and threatened to punch her in the face again if she didn't shut up and find something else to do, so to stay clear of Leshawna, this was her only option.

"Ew." Heather looked disgusted at Justin. "Why are you naked?"

"Because I want to get an even tan." Justin told her. "It's okay if you want to look, everyone always looks at me when I tan. I don't mind, my body is a work of art."

"Did you ever think people stop and look because you're some freak who tans naked out by the pool in front of everyone?" Heather laughed at him and sat down in the chair as far away from Justin as she possibly could. "The only one who wants to look at that would be Owen."

"Hey Heather..." Justin asked her.

"What?" Heather sighed in annoyance "I'm trying to read a magazine."

"Now that Courtney and Duncan are over, do you think I stand a chance with her?" Justin asked "You guys are kinda friends, would you ask her?"

"Courtney and I aren't friends." Heather told him turning a page in the magazine.

"Oh..." Justin sighed. "So, would you be willing to help me put some sun tan lotion on my back?"

"No." Heather told him. "Do it yourself."

"That's impossible." Justin told her. "I'd have to put one of my mirrors down, I wouldn't want to deprive myself of seeing both sides of me...I don't have a bad side, just two good sides."

"Ask someone else to do it then." Heather told him.

"Nobody else is here." Justin told her. "C'mon! Don't you want to do a favor for the hottest guy on the show?"

"You're not the hottest guy on the show!" Heather laughed. "I'm the hottest girl on the show obviously, but you're not the hottest guy."

"You're not the hottest girl." Justin told her. "It would be Courtney and Lindsay as the two hottest. You're just average especially since you had that hair issue back in season 1."

"This is stupid..." Heather looked at him. "You're stupid too! No wonder you never won and didn't get picked for seasons 3 and 5 and you didn't get a guest appearance in season 4 either. I may have a hair problem, but at least I'm a more popular contestant than you! You can't argue that, I was chosen multiple times and you weren't."

"You really are mean." Justin told her. "No wonder I never talked to you at all in season 1 or 2."

"That's not true." Heather rolled her eyes. "I think I said like 3 things to you."

"I just got the best idea ever!" Justin told her. "You're really popular on this show! Everyone loves to hate you and everyone knows I'm really good looking! How about you and I date as a publicity stunt?! We can call us JustHer! How cute would that be on the magazines?"

"So, you want to fake date me so you can get popular?" Heather laughed. "As if! If I even pretended to date you, my popularity would decrease! forget JustHer because the only thing right about it is the name! It is JustHer as in It's just Heather not dating Justin!"

"So, that's a maybe?" Justin asked "That's your loss if you don't want to! But if you decide you want to help me rub sun tan lotion on my back, just let me know!"

"Let me see the bottle!" Heather grabbed it from him and opened it and squirted it in his face. "Seriously, put some pants on! I'd rather get beat up by Leshawna than stay here and talk to you."

Heather stormed off back into the playa leaving Justin covered in lotion.

"Well that wasn't very nice of her." Justin sighed and rubbed it in himself, placing his mirrors on the ground. "She's just jealous because I'm way more attractive then she is."

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**That's my version of JustHer because seriously, Heather would never date Justin ever! They didn't even speak on the show, Maybe once? I have no clue how this couple even happened. This is one that really confuses me. Next I'm doing Dott, However I admit, I don't know much about this couple so I'm going to do my homework and see what I can dig up. I actually wrote a real one once where I managed to keep them in character. **


	3. Dott

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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It was a quiet morning at the playa because everyone was still sleeping, everyone except Dawn who woke up early to make herself some hot tea in the kitchen. It was around 5am so it was safe to assume it would be peaceful. Waiting for her tea to brew, she leaned up against the counter and took a deep breath and smiled. The playa did have a homey touch to it when there weren't dozens of teenagers making out all over the place and shouting all the time.

"Hey Dawn." Scott walked in wearing only his boxers. "Like what ya see?"

"Why are you up at 5am?" Dawn asked him. "You never get up this early."

"How would you know? You following me?" Scott smirked at her.

"No. I simply get up at this time every morning and I have not witnessed you here any other time." Dawn rolled her eyes at him.

"It just so happens I needed to piss." Scott told her. "Then I smelled your tea and I figured this would be the perfect time to make my move."

"I don't follow." Dawn told him. "The game is over, There are no more moves for you to make."

"You're not very smart are you?" Scott asked her. "I'm saying I want you to go out with me."

"I can't allow myself to do that." Dawn told him. "Our aura's would not work well together."

"Look, I don't believe in that garbage!" Scott told her. "I think it's just luck that you knew all these things about people. If you don't want to go out with me then I want a better reason why!"

"If you insist." Dawn rolled her eyes. "You are a horrible person who cares only for himself!"

"So?" Scott asked "What's wrong with putting myself first? Heather did and look where that got her..."

"You're missing the point." Dawn told him. "To be honest with you, I wouldn't dream of dating you no matter what you said to me, You could offer me a million dollars and an engagement ring and I would still shoot you down!"

"You would shoot me down even if I offered you a million dollars?!" Scott asked her. "Why on earth would you want to do that?! Just give me a chance! You can trust me!"

"I can trust you?" Dawn smirked "You mean you're trying to tell me that I can trust you after you stole everyone's things and then set me up to get eliminated?!"

"I was going to set Brick up..." Scott admitted "You can't hold that against me! It was part of the game!"

"I suggest you start playing a better game then." Dawn told him. "I don't need to date you, I already know my future and yours! I'm going to meet my future husband on an animal rescue mission on May 23rd 2017 and it's not you."

Scott ignored Dawn's ramblings about the future and instead placed his arms around her waist. Dawn sighed and rolled her eyes. He wasn't going to take a hint any time soon.

"Scott, this is awkward and inappropriate." Dawn told him. "You are barely wearing any clothes and I suggest that you take your hands off me right now."

"Okay, but if I take my hands off you, I can't promise that your pajama's may come with me..." Scott whispered in her ear.

"Scott." Dawn smirked as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "You're making hot..."

"I knew you would come around." Scott smirked. "Girls love me..."

"Can I make you hot?" Dawn smiled at him and calmly removing her hands from around him.

"I never knew you were this type of girl." Scott winked at her. "I'm already hot!"

"Then I guess I can make you hotter." Dawn smiled at him as she reached for her tea kettle and poured it on Scott's crotch. "Hot enough for you?"

"What the heck did you do that for?!" Scott fell to the floor.

"I asked you nicely to leave me alone." Dawn giggled "You simply wouldn't take no for an answer so I played it your way and I got revenge on you for unfairly voting me out and it's not even 6am yet! I would say this day turned out rather well. I'm going to meditate now, I assume you won't be joining me?"

"You assumed right." Scott groaned in pain. "I'm going to be in bed with ice all day, Thanks a lot, Dawn."

"I hope you think about the error of your ways while you're doing that." Dawn told him. "Maybe you'll learn how to respect a girls decision and then you'll be one step closer to cleansing your aura!"

"I'm starting to think your aura isn't that pure..." Scott glared at her "You poured hot tea on my crotch! How does that make you pure?"

"I never said I was pure." Dawn giggled. "I just said that my aura is better than yours and that I try to be a decent person until people like you come along."

"Fine, lesson learned." Scott sighed. "No more hitting on freaky girls, I'm going to hit on the skanky ones."

"I feel bad for you." Dawn informed him.

"Because you dumped hot tea on me?" Scott asked her in pain.

"No, I feel bad for you that you're going to live in a trailer park with one of the contestants from this show! You will have 4 children and a job as a garbage man while your wife stays home and has an affair on the internet! Her aura is a mixture of blue and orange, I'm surprised she got tangled up with you in the first place."

"I already told you I didn't believe in that crap!" Scott told her. "But, let's say that I did, who is this girl?"

Dawn smirked at him and made herself another cup of tea, leaving Scott to wonder about everything she just told him. She ruined his day and caused him pain. Even though she wouldn't admit it to anyone she was quite happy with what she accomplished. Scott spent all day being paranoid about everything Dawn just told him and he was no angry at every girl from the show because of what she told him.

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**Okay, so there ya have it. No fluff just Scott getting injured and Dawn knowing better then to date him. I wanna do Nawn in the worst way, but I'm NOT going to do Dawn two times in a row. So, suggest pairings, just nothing that was or is Canon. Also, if you just writing pairings and don't actually review, you'll be ignored even if you have the greatest suggestion ever. **


	4. Nizzy

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Noah was losing his mind. He really was! He was woken up around 5am this morning courtesy of Izzy. He really shouldn't be surprised anymore, Izzy had done this to him every morning since they were all forced to stay at the playa. It also didn't help that she was staying in the room next door to him. So far she had asked him to help her dig through the floor, prank call Chef, steal a shirt from anyone with the letter T in their name and build a swimming pool in the hallway! All of this had happened in the past 3 days. This morning she was hammering something to the walls in her room very loudly, which woke Noah up.

Noah decided he was just going to avoid her and hopefully she would harass someone else. He decided he was going to read a book, only to find that Izzy had ripped out the last chapter of every single book Noah had owned for some odd reason. Noah groaned in annoyance and found himself knocking on Sam's door to borrow his laptop so he could get on iTunes and buy some EBooks for his iPod. He would honestly rather read his books instead of listening to them, but this was the only way to make sure Izzy couldn't possibly destroy them.

He decided that living next door to Izzy wasn't going to help him either. If he was going to avoid Izzy he would need to find a new hiding spot to listen to his EBooks in peace. He knew she would look for him in his room and out by the pool because that's where everyone seemed to gather, like some sort of mindless heard. He decided he would go and sit in the stairwell, That would be the perfect spot because everyone always took the elevator because they were all lazy as shit or in a hurry, So avoiding Izzy in the stairwell would be the perfect choice.

Noah sat down on the landing of the stairwell and sat up against the wall and closed his eyes as the book started to play. This was the most calming moment he had in weeks. He felt like he just wanted to stay there until Chris allowed them to go home. Noah felt the stairwell ground starting to shake and he opened his eyes to see Izzy jumping up and down in front of him, he sighed and paused his EBook and took his headphones out.

"Do you mind, Izzy?" Noah asked her. "I'm trying to have some peace and quiet."

"Yeah, but I've been looking all over for you!" Izzy told him. "I tried looking at the pool and in your bedroom and in the woods and in the bathroom! I even looked in the garbage can by the elevator! I was pretty sure you were in that garbage can, when you weren't there I figured you would be here!"

"Why would I be in the garbage can?" Noah sighed and asked her. "So, you found me. Now what exactly do you plan to do?"

"Oh yeah!" Izzy laughed. "Okay, so I found this puzzle on the table that someone was almost finished doing, I took it apart again and left a note telling them that they now have to find all the pieces and that I hid every single piece in a different spot! So, now you and I have to go and hide all these pieces so whoever was doing the puzzle can find them! So, are you ready to go Noah-Boa-Banana fanana Fo-Fowwa!?"

"No!" Noah told her. "I'm going to ask you a question and I want a serious answer from you! Why on earth would you possibly think that it would be a good idea to take apart someone's puzzle that they worked hard on? Even if you wanted to do that, why would you think I wanted to help you do that?!"

"Because we're team E-scope!" Izzy told him. "You, me and Eva!"

"No, were not." Noah told her. "Team E-scope died somewhere in season 2 when you went back into the game as Izzy. Once you left, Eva and I stopped talking. Also, I never actually agreed to be part of team E-scope to begin with."

"Yeah, but your my Noah-Boa!" Izzy told him. "We always do fun stuff together!"

"No, we really don't." Noah sighed and told her. "Usually your idea of fun is literally dragging me to do something pointless that I don't actually want to do in the first place, Then I somehow end up getting forced by you to help you try to get out of some crazy mess that you got yourself in, which usually results in getting me beat up by someone or getting threatened. That is hardly my idea of fun."

"Are you saying you don't think that stuff is fun?" Izzy asked really confused.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." Noah told her. "That's exactly why Eva and I stopped hanging out with you in the first place! Team E-scope was more like 'Team clean up Izzy's mess' and it got exhausting."

"Are you saying you don't like me?" Izzy asked him as she sat down next to him.

"No, I'm not saying I don't like you." Noah sighed. "I'm just saying that I would like you a lot better if you stopped getting me in all kinds of situations that are completely unnecessary."

Izzy just stared at Noah for a few minutes as if she had just come to a realization of some kind. She smiled at Noah as she put her hands on his face and proceeded to make out with him. Noah on the other hand was seriously confused and pulled away and pushed Izzy off of him.

"What just happened?!" Noah demanded to know.

"You and me, Duh!" Izzy laughed. "Ever since big-O and I broke up, I was thinking that we could be together!"

"Why would you think that?" Noah asked him. "I haven't done one thing to make you think that I'm romantically interested in you."

"Yeah, I know." Izzy rolled her eyes. "You really should work on that if you're going to be my boyfriend, It would be nice if you bought me stuff. I saw this really cool bean bag chair online if you're wondering what I would like..."

"Izzy, I don't want to be your boyfriend." Noah told her. "I have never thought of you in any romantic way ever."

"Why not?" Izzy asked him. "I can be really romantic! This one time, In 8th grade I liked this guy named Jason and really wanted him to notice me, So I made him a Teddy Bear out of an old bike tire that I stole from the bike rack at school."

"I don't even want to know how you managed to do that..." Noah told her. "Dating you would be like being a parent to a 5 year old. If you and I were to date, I would lose my mind Izzy! You're a great person and I'd love to hang out with you if you could pick a normal activity and doesn't involve me getting punched by the time were done."

"So, you're gay?" Izzy asked him. "If you want to be with a guy, I would totally be willing to hook you up! I have this really great idea that involves you, Trent and some honey in the woods! By the time I'm done, you'll be together!"

"I'm pretty sure Trent is straight." Noah smirked at her. "Also, I'm assexual so I'm not actually attracted to anyone. So, don't take it too personally when I tell you that I'm definitely not attracted to Trent or you or anyone else here."

"Oh, okay then!" Izzy laughed. "Well bye!"

Izzy grabbed Noah's IPod and threw it on the ground causing it to break as she laughed and ran up the stairwell. Noah groaned in annoyance, of course Izzy would manage to prevent him from reading or even listening to a book, why did that surprise him? Noah just sat there and attempted to enjoy the small moment of silence in his life.

"WHO THE HELL TOOK MY PUZZLE?!" Noah heard Courtney yell. Everyone in the building most likely heard her. "MY DOCTOR TOLD ME THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A THERAPEUTIC ACTIVITY! I WAS ALMOST DONE WITH IT TOO! WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS, THEY'RE GOING TO PAY!"

Noah was waiting for her to find the note Izzy left. She was going to be mad and he was most likely going to get punched in the face today.

"Really life?" Noah asked nobody in particular "Do you really dislike me that much?"

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**Okay, so this chapter was actually really difficult for me to write. If you want my personal opinion on Nizzy, it makes me cringe and I only ever write them if someone asks me to put it in a story as a small part. I have never disliked a pairing as much as I have disliked Nizzy. It would rank really high on my hated pair lists. I've also never been a fan of Izzy as a character either. She just really got on my nerves and I never understood the hype of her. I never understood how they would work as a pair, I honestly feel if they were together it would basically be Noah apologizing to everyone under the sun that they came in contact with that he was sorry for whatever Izzy did to ruin someone's day. He would be forced to shadow and parent her all the time. She would also get on his nerves. He also told Owen he felt she was really nutty in TDWT so I don't think Noah would actually ever willingly want to date her. If anything, I think they would have a friendship. So, that's my opinion on it, what's yours? **

**Next chapter I'm thinking of doing Duncan/Leshawna or Lightning/Anne Maria or Courtney/Cody or possibly Justin/Owen. I'm really tossed up with the four of them. Also in the near future I'm going to be making fun of Chris/Courtney that I actually ship, because I can. I want to prove that I can easily make fun of myself and my writing. **


	5. LeDunca

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Duncan was craving a cigarette and he glanced at his clock and it was 5:18am Duncan groaned, he hated waking up and needing a cigarette, he looked out the window and saw that it was snowing out. Duncan hated the cold weather and the fact that Chris wouldn't let him smoke in the playa, however he wasn't one to follow rules, he decided he was just going to smoke in the bathroom, at 5am nobody in this place would be up.

Duncan quietly snuck into the bathroom and decided to light up. This was going to be so much better than going outside to smoke in the freezing cold weather. It was nice and dark in the community bathroom, just the way he liked it. He heard water running and thought that Lindsay must have left the water running again, it wasn't uncommon for her to do that. Duncan knew the bathroom like the back of his hand, even in the dark. Did you really think this was the first time he had done this? He found his way over to the shower and opened the curtain and walked into someone.

"What gives?!" Leshawna yelled at him. "Can't a sista take a shower in the morning?!"

"Oh god..." Duncan stepped back. "What are you doing taking a shower in the dark?!"

"It's peaceful." Leshawna told him. "Why are you smoking in the bathroom?! Didn't you tell Gwen you were gonna quit?"

Duncan walked over to the light switch and turned it on. Once he had the light on he quickly put his cigarette out on the wall. Leshawna was now standing in the bathroom completely naked. Duncan tried to look away but he couldn't, because she was a girl with very large boobs.

"Duncan, did you really just turn the light on?!" Leshawna yelled at him. "Why the heck would you turn the light on?! Are you looking at me while I'm naked?!"

"Yes!..Uh...No!" Duncan yelled and looked down at the floor "Don't tell Gwen!"

"GET OUT!" Leshawna yelled at him.

"I'm sorry!" Duncan told her. "Look, let's just keep this between you and me! Gwen never has to find out!"

"Fine." Leshawna told him. "You better keep it to yourself too! Harold would annoy me for weeks if he knew. That's means you can't tell Geoff because he has a big mouth!"

"Okay, fine." Duncan blushed "You do have a nice body though..."

"I know suga." Leshawna winked at him. "Oh, one more thing...give me the cigarettes."

Duncan threw his pack on the sink along with his lighter. If that's what it was going to take to keep her happy and not tell Gwen about this then it was worth it.

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**Okay, so that was short. However, I actually really like this couple. Also, in TDA they were pretty awesome as teammates, I don't think they would ever be canon but it's still better than JustHer in my books. You should read Winter-Rae's fics. She's a very talented gal, plus she can write LeDunca way better than I ever can****. NerdyBarista suggested I read a few and I must admit they are pretty good. I could have done so much with this chapter but to keep it in character I needed to make it short. So, it was nice! Nobody officially got rejected this chapter! That's a first! So, do you want my take on NoCo or Nawn? you guys get to pick it, then after that were going to the land of CoCo.**


	6. Noco

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Noah was sitting down in the library of the playa. You would think the library would be a safe place to avoid stupid activities because most of the contestants don't read for fun, so one would assume the library would be quiet, right? Wrong. Chris decided to put a computer in the library and it caused every single moron in the playa to constantly come in and fight over it. Someone was always on that stupid computer.

It was 10:00pm on a typical Saturday night and most of the contestants were out by the pool having a party which meant that Noah actually had the library to himself for once. He was desperately trying to read a book that he can't seem to finish without an interruption. It seemed like luck wasn't on his side for reading! Even when it tried to read alone in his room someone would pound on the door and ask for something stupid, however that was typical. Everyone at the playa was stupid in their own special little way, so that didn't surprise Noah at all.

Unfortunately for Noah that he wasn't going to get that quiet he wanted when Cody ran into the library and turned the computer on making Cody almost wet himself when the sound came on full blast, whoever was there before didn't turn the volume down, was Noah surprised? Not really.

"Hey Noah." Cody turned to him from the chair of the computer. "What's the password for the computer WiFi?"

"Why are you asking me?" Noah asked him. "Just because I'm in the library a lot, don't assume I know the password. it gets changed all the time."

"What is it usually?" Cody asked him.

"There is a paper right next to you with the password on it." Noah told him. "Now shut up. I'm trying to read."

Noah lost his page in the book now and it was all Cody's fault. Noah shook his head and tried to find the last sentence he was reading. Before he could even find it he heard Cody yell loudly.

"I signed in!" Cody yelled to Noah.

"Good for you." Noah rolled his eyes and started to focus on his book.

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A few minutes had passed and Noah was now into his book once again and Cody was snickering at something every few minutes. Noah could deal with that, it wasn't nearly as bad as Cameron and Harold trying to play WoW online. The only thing Cody was guilty of was clicking the mouse so loud. It was like he was picking the mouse up and slamming it down, every single time he wanted to go to a new page.

"Oh...My...God..." Cody loudly said "Noah, come here!"

Noah closed the book and walked over to Cody. He was pretty sure Cody just couldn't work something on the computer. Noah went and stood next to Cody and was about to make a statement about Cody's intelligence when he saw what Cody was looking at.

"Oh god..." Noah replied in disgust. "Why on earth did you call me over to look at that?"

"Can you believe that?!" Cody complained "Leave it to Duncan to do something like this! He sent me this in an email. He told me it was Gwen's boobs! Does that look like a picture of Gwen's boobs to you?"

"Why would you even open an email from Duncan that he titled Gwen's boobs?" Noah asked him. "Do you honestly think he would willingly send you pictures of that?"

"I guess not..." Cody sighed. "I can't believe he sent me a picture of his junk!"

"You can't believe it?" Noah rolled his eyes. "This is the same guy who puts mud in Harold's shoes and puts Ex-lax in the food every chance he gets! How does this not surprise you?"

"What do you think it's like?" Cody asked Noah. "Ya know? To kiss a guy?"

"Whoa, where the hell did that come from?" Noah got wide eyed.

"Well I mean if Duncan sent me a picture of his junk that must mean he wanted me to see, right?" Cody asked him. "So, does that mean Duncan wants to kiss guys too?"

"Too?" Noah asked him. "As in you want to kiss a guy? As in, Duncan and Cody both want to kiss guys?"

"Yeah." Cody told him. "Then Duncan will kiss me and break up with Gwen and then I could date her!"

"Why are you kissing guys if you want to date Gwen?" Noah asked him. "Do you realize how stupid that plan is?"

"Duncan would punch me if I tried." Cody sighed. "Hey, can I kiss you? I'm not gay or anything. I just really want to try."

"If you try to kiss me I'm going to punch you." Noah told him. "Remember that ear kiss we shared?"

"Yeah, you kissed me." Cody told him. "So, why can't you just do it again?"

"Cody, I was asleep when that happened." Noah told him. "I don't like men and I think you're just confused."

"Can we kiss so I can find out?" Cody asked him. "Just once?"

"Cody, I'm not interested in you." Noah told him. "If you want to kiss someone, I suggest you find someone else."

Izzy ran into the room and looked at them both. She had swim trunks in her hand and was running out of breath when she stopped and looked at the two boys.

"Izzy, are those swim shorts?" Noah asked her.

"Yep." Izzy laughed. "I stole them from Sam and now he's kinda mad at me! He's been chasing me around for like an hour now! It's really funny!"

Izzy ran down the hallway leaving Cody and Noah really confused. About 5 minutes later Sam came running into the library and stopped in the doorway. His junk was waving around all over the place and looked kinda disgusting. Sam grabbed it when he realized that Noah and Cody were looking at it and blushed. Cody and Noah turned their heads around.

"Which way did Izzy go?" Sam asked in between breaths.

"Down the hall." Cody pointed not looking at Sam.

"Thanks guy!" Sam waved his hand and his junk in Noah and Cody's direction and ran down the hall.

"That was weird." Noah sighed and went to sit back down and read.

"I looked away." Cody told him. "That was nasty! Which means that I'm not gay! yessssss!"

"Thank god." Noah told him. "At least the male population is still safe from a lame Cody pick up line."

"So, I'm sorry about wanting to kiss you." Cody blushed.

"It's okay." Noah told him.

"I'm sorry about trying to get you to look at porn with me." Cody apologized.

"It's fine, Cody." Noah tried to focus on the book.

"I'm sorry for planning our future family together too." Cody told him. "It was supposed to me Gwen, you and me and our 5 kids."

"It's okay, Co-Wait what?" Noah asked him looking up. "You were going to try to be in a relationship with Gwen and me?"

"Yeah, I figured since you and I wouldn't be able to have kids, Gwen would do it for us." Cody awkwardly blushed.

"You put too much thought into this." Noah told him. "That's like a creepy Owen thought. I think I'm just going to go read in my room..."

"It's not like that!" Cody told him. "It's just a thought! We could have picked any girl if I was gay! I'm sure Sierra would have even agreed because she's a creep! Not me..."

Noah walked away and left Cody there in the library alone, feeling stupid and awkward. Cody really hated Duncan for sending him that email in the first place.

* * *

**So, that's my Noco and that's as in character as I could possibly get! If anyone finds it even slightly out of character I would like to see you try to make a mildly interesting realistic Noco fic. It's actually hard. It would basically be like "Hey, I like chick." and Noah would be "Yeah, me too." and nobody would read it. NoCo has 0% romance in reality and that is something that I learned. Unless you make it fluffy and OOC then you can't have a decent NoCo fic. Simple as that. I also see Cody being the more curious one and Noah just wanting to be left alone, since Cody is really flirty and Noah is just boring. In the process of writing this, I personally realized how unrealistic NoCo is and if you guys don't believe me, I'd like to see you try to make one as realistic as you can! That would be a challenge. I honestly didn't even know how to end this. Because to make it real Cody needed to realize he likes girls and Noah in normal character wouldn't be likely to get naked. However, I could see Izzy stealing swim trunks...So, there ya go. **

**I'm doing CoCo, which is apparently a thing now? I have no clue why this would happen at all. Courtney has never showed any romantic interest in him and Cody is always going to be the Sierra to Gwen's life. So, were going to see how I can work that. Then as I promised, Nawn is after that. **


	7. CoCo

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Courtney was in her room at the playa where she was happily listening to classical music and throwing out everything that reminded her of Duncan which was pretty much everything she owned. That was the plan of the day to 'Courtney's new and perfect life.' She was trying to rid her room of the smell of cigarette smoke and cheap hair gel, the two things that Duncan always smelled like that would make her feel sick. She banned him from smoking in her room when they were dating, but since when did Duncan follow any type of rule? She was so into her positive music and energy that she was actually surprised that there was a knock on her door! Not many people liked her these days, so she didn't get much company. However, even though she had a guest she still wasn't entirely thrilled.

"Oh, it's you." Courtney groaned when she opened the door to find Cody standing there.

"Hey Courtney." Cody handed her a pink rose. "I brought this for you."

"Why?" Courtney rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me?" Cody was baffled. "Are you asking me why I gave you a rose?"

"Yes." Courtney told him. "You and I don't hang out at all and even when we were on the same team you and I didn't exactly talk on a personal level and you're also forgetting that you like Gwen and I hate Gwen so you and I are practically enemies in this sad little game that is life."

"Yeah, but Gwen and Duncan are dating now and I really hate Duncan." Cody reminded her. "That has to give me points with you."

"I guess you're right." Courtney rolled her eyes. "I could argue the point that you only hate Duncan because he loves Gwen but I'm really trying to move on with my life so I'd rather not talk about either of them until my lawyers inform me that both Gwen and Duncan have been terminated from the show!"

"Don't you think that's a bit drastic?" Cody asked her. "Couldn't you just move on?"

"People need to really stop telling me to do that." Courtney rolled her eyes. "Would you believe that you aren't the first person to tell me that?"

"Not really..." Cody awkwardly laughed. "You sorta took it to an extreme by trying to sue them."

"You'll see when I win." Courtney smirked. "So, why are you talking to me all of a sudden?"

"I've come to ask you out on a date." Cody told her. "I've decided that since Gwen is seeing someone that I should see someone too! I picked you because you're the only sane girl left on the show who isn't a complete airhead."

"So, you picked me because I'm not a complete idiot?" Courtney asked him.

"I'm still not sure how sane you are but I'm pretty sure you didn't steal my toothbrush so you rank saner than Sierra." Cody awkwardly smiled at her.

"She's still doing that?" Courtney smirked. "I would have gotten a handle on that situation a long time ago."

"So, do you want to go on a date with me?" Cody asked her. "This went better in my head..."

"No way!" Courtney laughed. "Just because I'm single, you think I'm desperate? I shot Trent down and he's better looking than you! You actually think you stand a chance?"

"When you put it like that..." Cody sighed. "A simple 'no' would have worked."

"I'm sorry, Cody!" Courtney busted out laughing "It's just really funny that you would pick me of all people to ask out! You know I'm way out of your league!"

"You dated Duncan for 3 seasons!" Cody told her. "Are you telling me that Duncan was in your league?"

"No, he was the biggest mistake of my life." Courtney told him. "But at least Duncan was fun and exciting! You're just annoying and pathetic and you're also forgetting that you have that weird allergy where I would need to stick a needle in your butt cheek, which mean that you would die because I'm not doing that so we could never go camping or hiking or anything like that."

"You're a C.I.T. isn't that your job?!" Cody asked her. "You would think that you would be the perfect person to date just because you are a C.I.T."

"I was a C.I.T. until those jerks fired me!" Courtney yelled. "It was all Miranda Jackwell's fault! If she hadn't been allergic to those stupid bees! I'm not a C.I.T. anymore! Even if I was, I wouldn't help you. You are no use to me in any way. You would slow me down and be dead weight."

"Well you sure got my hopes up." Cody sighed. "I'm just going to go back to my room and make a list of reasons why I should not press charges against Sierra! You're going to be number 4 on my list."

"Cody?" Courtney asked him as he walked away. "What are the first 3 reasons?"

"Gwen, Heather and Lindsay." Cody sighed. "I tried this whole rose thing with them and it didn't really end any better than this...I tried to convince Gwen that I'm the best choice and she slammed the door in my face and Heather told me I was a pathetic loser and threatened me. Lindsay would have worked if Tyler wasn't actually in her room with her when I told her I was Tyler, I think he hates me now and of course you were willing to let me die in the woods so I guess I'm stuck with Sierra for eternity since I can't seem to trick even the dumbest girl on the show to date me."

"You tried this on 3 other girls including 3 that I hate?!" Courtney glared at him. "You have some nerve! trying to give me a flower you already tried to give to three girls!?"

"Did you word that right?" Cody asked her confused. "3 girls including 3 that you hate?"

"Don't correct me!" Courtney yelled at him. "I know what I said, I hate them all."

"What did Lindsay do to you?" Cody asked her.

"That's not the point." Courtney told him. "You better go away now before I sue you for false flirtations!"

"Can you sue someone for that?" Cody asked her.

"Do you really want to find out?" Courtney glared at him.

"Not really." Cody told her. "I'm going to go make my list now and try to forget today ever happened. Good luck with whatever you're doing."

Courtney slammed the door in Cody's face and rolled her eyes. What was with the guys on the show these days? They were all pathetic losers in her book. She'd rather stay single then be Cody's girlfriend. If the world needed Courtney and Cody to reproduce to save the human race then Human's would become extinct. Courtney went back to cleaning when she heard Sierra yelling in the hallway "Are you saying Cody's not good enough for you?!" followed by Heather screaming and doors slamming. Courtney turned her music up and pretended not to hear anything and made a mental note not to answer the door for the rest of the day.

* * *

**Okay, so yeah. I'm not a big fan of CoCo and I wasn't even aware that it was a thing until I looked up fics about them. I cringed through a few and I stopped reading halfway through one fic. How does this happen? I find it hard to believe that this actually has a fan base. This is another perfect example of how people with two totally different personalities would clash badly. Courtney and Cody would be like Trent and Courtney. I think personally if Courtney were to date anyone she would need someone with a stronger personality that could equally match up with hers. Cody and Trent are pushovers and Courtney would rip them to pieces by the time she was done with them. The only guy's at this point I could see her being equally matched with is Duncan, Alejandro or Justin. Noah has the sarcasm to be matched with her but not really an attitude. Maybe Scott? he's in season 5 with Courtney and he seems like he could be able to blend with her personality. I think when they both end up on the Villains team together though that Courtney is going to dislike him. Also, you guys have all seen the season 5 character list right? Maybe it's just a personal issue I'm having buttttttt...Can someone please tell me what the fuck Sam did to be classified as a hero? When I heard Brian Froud was recording I was excited, I was so sure he was going to be Harold and then I found out he was doing Sam. **

**Also, in defense of Courtney, I think she was unfairly cast as a Villain! How is it Gwen and Duncan can cheat and hook up in season 3 and Gwen gets to be hero? Nobody has officially confirmed which team Duncan is on but I'm betting he's going to be a hero which I'm not really feeling him this season. If Mike, Zoey, Gwen, Duncan got voted off first I would be happy. They need to split the couples up. It's obvious that Cameron/Mike/Zoey will have an alliance and Gwen/Duncan will have an alliance. Heather and Alejandro are the obvious power couple on the villains team. It's obvious who's going to be running the show. The only people I'm really excited for this season are Sierra, Courtney, Alejandro and Heather. I'm only making this long rantish type thing because people have been asking me lately where I stand with most of the characters on the show, as I don't really take anyone seriously and in my fics I make everyone an idiot especially Trent these days. So, for those who are curious my top 3 favorite characters are 1. Courtney 2. Heather. 3. Alejandro. and I'm team Duncney for the simple fact I don't like the direction they put Gwen's character in. I liked Gwen in season 1 but then I thought the whole thing in world tour was really bitchy and I'm siding with Courtney that Duncan is an asshole. I wouldn't have cared if they broke up, I'm not one of those DUNCNEEYYYY EVVAAAA! people. I just thought it was extremely rushed and it was more so Gwen being a horrible friend at that point. So, that's my rant. Thoughts? Discussions? Opinions? Talk to me! I'm not a scary whacko. I actually like talking in depth about it with people. **


	8. Nawn

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Noah was quietly reading alone in his room trying to avoid the typical stupidity that usually occurred around the playa. It was never ending with the lack of supervision and the number of idiots the playa seemed to gain with every season. Things rarely surprised Noah anymore, he's been spending most of his down time off season there. At least once a day someone would get injured or start a fight or be like Geoff and jump off the roof into the pool that he filled with pudding...Yeah, Noah wanted nothing to do with that.

Noah heard a noise in his room and glanced at his clock, it was around 2 in the afternoon and no matter how many ghost stories Duncan tried to tell him, he wasn't going to believe that there was a ghost that lurked the rooms even if Harold, Sam, Brick, Zoey, Cameron, DJ and Bridgette all did, so Noah decided it wasn't even worth glancing up from his book to verify that nothing was there.

There was a loud thud which followed by another and then another which irked Noah enough to finally look away from his book and see that someone was in his room, It was Dawn and that's when she looked up at Noah and smiled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, I was just looking for that one book you had on boats." Dawn told him. "I know it was here the other day."

"It should be on the 4th shelf to the right." Noah told her and focused on his book again.

"Found it." Dawn stood up with the book in hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Noah told her and that's when he came to a realization. "Wait...How did you get in my room? and why do you know what books I have? Better yet, who are you?!"

"My name is Dawn." Dawn put her hand out for Noah to shake but he just looked at her funny. "I watched the show and I knew you liked to read."

"Okay, Dawn so how did you get in my room?" Noah asked her. "I have 5 locks on that because of Izzy and various other stupid people."

"I have many ways of traveling." Dawn told him. "Perhaps we could engage in some talk about books later?"

"How about we don't?" Noah asked her. "Last time someone used the word engage around here I ended up almost in a legal contract with Courtney that I would marry her and provide her with two children. I'd rather not associate myself with anyone here, especially someone who managed to break into my room."

"You're aura is incredible." Dawn told him. "I'd love to get a chance to discuss it with you! It's a beautiful shade of blue with a mixture of maroon."

"I don't believe in that stuff." Noah smirked at her. "I find it a waste of time."

"I can tell you that you come from a large family and are very independent." Dawn told him. "Being the 3rd child born in a family of 11 kids is quite difficult. I assume that's why you started spending most of your time at the library at your school when you were 9, am I correct?"

"Yes." Noah rolled his eyes. "Now that we established that can you get out of my room?"

"I think we should hang out." Dawn smiled at him.

"Why? Because I like books and you snuck into my room and stole my books?" Noah rolled his eyes.

"Actually, I find that you are one of the most intelligent people here." Dawn told him. "Which is why I think we should talk."

"You're right, I am one of the smartest people here." Noah smirked. "That's exactly why we shouldn't talk. You and I are obviously two different people. I've watched you meditate and quite frankly, I think it's stupid and I heard that you read aura's and I don't believe in that and if you would like to try to convince me that you some type of abilities you're wasting your time, My younger brother Hayden is still trying to convince me that he saw the ghost of our grandfather and that was 3 years ago."

"Noah, I just wish you would give me a chance." Dawn told him.

"To explain a logical explanation of how you broke into my room?" Noah asked her. "Seriously, I don't even know you! We have never spoken once and we weren't on the same season at all and neither of us have gotten chosen to be on season 5 so I really don't see a point in us talking."

"You do realize that by shutting yourself out to the world you'll end up alone?" Dawn asked him.

"I could care less." Noah told her. "I have 10 brothers and sisters, the odds of at least 3 of them becoming worthless failures is a pretty good chance so I'm sure I'll be supporting them. I don't need companionship from some girl who looks like Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter."

"But I ca-" Dawn went to speak but Noah got up from his bed and open his door

"Get out." Noah told her. "Go find someone else to practice your weird magic tricks on."

"But what about the book?" Dawn asked him holding it. "Shall I return it?"

"Just keep it and don't bother me again." Noah pushed Dawn in the hallway and slammed the door shut.

He didn't know how she got in there or why she assumed it was okay to steal his books but it certainly wasn't okay with him, he barely wanted anything to do with the original cast he was forced to play with let alone these newbies.

* * *

**That is my Nawn. I'm not a fan of the couple at all. Why? Because this one is just strange and it seems like the fandom seems to like it the question now is why? These two don't even know each other and neither of them are going to be getting the chance to know each other because they won't be in season 5 so this little fad should be over soon with any luck. The only thing these two have in common is they are loners who seem to enjoy being alone and they can't be alone together. Also, Dawn is into the Aura reading and meditation and Noah is very logical so he wouldn't even believe any of it. This is strictly a fan couple that would never stand a chance in being canon, in fact I'm pretty sure Chris/Courtney and even Justin/Heather would stand a better chance than Nawn. So, I gave my part on it, now I want to know Nawn Fans: Why on earth do you ship it? **


	9. Bawn

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Dawn was in her room eating some chips and relaxing after a long day of helping animals and reading people's aura's. This place was really starting to have an effect on her because everyone wanted her to do something all the time! Duncan kept pranking Harold who kept asking Dawn for help getting revenge on him. Sierra wanted her to do a spell to make Cody fall in love with her and Lightning kept slamming doors all day and she really just wanted to go home, however there was a knock on her door and Dawn was too polite to ignore it. Dawn sighed and got out of bed and opened the door up to find B standing in front of her.

"Yes?" Dawn smiled at B.

B stood there and said nothing.

"Would you like to come in?" Dawn gestured her hand and opened the door further so he could come in.

B stood there and still said nothing.

"Well if you don't want to talk, I think I'm going to head to sleep." Dawn smiled and B just looked at her.

"Are you trying to communicate with me telepathically?" Dawn asked him.

B stood there and didn't even nod or confirm anything.

"B, I am really tired and am going to sleep." Dawn told him. "I'm not going to play guessing games with you today. If you want to talk to me or anyone else I suggest you start writing notes or going on facebook and talking to people. I'm sorry but I'm too tired to help you attempt to communicate around here! Goodnight."

B sighed and went back to his room.

* * *

**Enter the most boring chapter ever in existence! So, why don't I ship Bawn or whatever you guys call it. If you guys actually looked things up then you would know that B is DJ's original character design that they threw in for no real reason at all. B was a last minute thrown in character that didn't even have a voice actor. Dawn may be patient but nobody could deal with B all the time. That would be annoying. Basically all B is was a character that the writers already had created and it was really lazy on the writers part. Basically it saved them money in the long run, they just used someone they already created and didn't pay anyone to voice him. B is the laziest attempt of writing the show has yet to display. That's why I've never liked his character. B was also in TDI when Courtney was in the hot air balloon and found the camp was next to the drive thru. So, my hatred for the character in general has everything to do with the fact they threw him in last minute. No offence to the Bawn shippers but making stories where he actually talks means you're giving him a personality which means he's out of character. There is no way to write an accurate story about him. He was not abused and there is no deep meaning to why he won't talk. They just were lazy when they made him.**

**So, you guys need to start naming couples for me to do...If nobody suggests anything I'm going to do Chris/Courtney and Chris/Chef and shit like that. **


	10. Codette

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Bridgette had asked Geoff to go get them some soda over a half an hour ago. She was getting really annoyed that he was taking so long to get back. How could he leave her in the hot tub alone this long? most likely talking to Duncan, with Geoff gone that meant she would have to defend herself from creepy guys in the hot tub with her like Zeke who seemed to try at least once a day.

She already smacked Zeke in the head for trying to get in the hot tub and she figured she was safe for the day so when Cody sat in the hot tub next to her she was surprised.

"That seat is taken." Bridgette told him as he got in. "What are you here?"

"It's a public place." Cody smiled at her. "I'm just hanging out and you looked lonely."

"Yeah, well I'm not." Bridgette crossed her arms. Cody put his arm around her and she moved away from him and glared "What are you doing?"

"Putting my arm around you." Cody told her.

"I have a boyfriend." Bridgette told him. "I already made the mistake of kissing someone else once and it's not happening again."

"It was worth a shot." Cody shrugged "Eventually one of the pretty girls will need a shoulder to cry on and that's the day I'm going to come out the winner."

"That's a horrible way to try to get girls." Bridgette told him. "My advice to you is that you should find a better way to date girls."

"Why? This method is working out really good." Cody told her. "One of these days, Duncan is going to cheat on Gwen and then she'll be so upset and guess who's going to be there for her? It's going to be me. Of course, I'll be there for you when Geoff decides that he wants to date someone else."

"What makes you think that Geoff is going to find someone else?" Bridgette glared. "Geoff loves me."

"For now." Cody smiled. "But when he isn't here anymore maybe we could go out sometime?"

Suddenly Geoff was standing over Cody and had come back with the drinks. He heard the last few words that Cody had said and grabbed him by his swim trunks and threw him out of the hot tub and on to the ground. Geoff and Bridgette started making out some more and Cody watched and sighed. He saw Duncan and Gwen talking on the other side of the pool, he sat there and watched them from afar.

"What are you looking at?" Beth asked him as she walked by eating an ice cream cone.

"Gwen and Duncan." Cody smiled and sat Indian style. Beth looked creeped out.

"Why are you watching Gwen and Duncan?" Beth asked him.

"Because some day he's going to break her heart." Cody chuckled "Then I'll be the one to be there for her! She'll see it's me she really loves and then we'll get married and have 3 kids."

"That's creepy Cody." Beth told him. "It's also ironic how you stalk Gwen and then you get mad at Sierra for stalking you."

"I'm not stalking Gwen." Cody informed Beth. "I'm just waiting for her to realize that Duncan is a jerk! Waiting and Stalking are totally different."

"Oh, then Sierra is in that bush over there waiting for you..." Beth told him. "She has binoculars and she looks unhappy with you."

Beth walked away and left Cody sitting there by himself. He was pretty sure that every girl on the show would hate him. It's okay though, eventually one of them would get dumped and he would be there with a shoulder to cry on and lots of candy.

* * *

**This has been requested to me by 3 people. Okay, so I'm not a fan of Codette. My opinion? I find Cody annoying these days. He was alright in season 1 but world tour made me dislike him. I find Cody to be a hypocrite, he basically stalked Gwen and even asked her for her bra to win a bet right? Then season 3 he gets Sierra who is head over heels in love with him and he calls her a stalker for stealing his tooth brushes? I think if Sierra was actually his girlfriend she would calm down and not be a whack job. But we're not talking about that. It just bugs me how Cody acts around Gwen and then gets mad when Sierra did it to him. Cody is the Sierra of Gwen's life in my books. As for the couple Codette? Not a chance, Bridgette and Geoff rarely separate and she already cheated on Geoff once in the show and felt bad about it so I doubt she would do it again. The only way Cody would ever end up with Courtney, Gwen, Heather or Bridgette would be if they were at the lowest point in their lives. Even then, it would be hard for a guy like Cody. He's too desperate. **

**Seriously, I want you guys to think of every moment Cody had with Gwen and then tell me he's not a hypocrite. **


	11. Trentsay

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Trent was sitting in the stairwell of the playa trying to relax and write an amazing song for the total drama brothers. He was doing pretty well until Lindsay walked in and started to pee on the stairs. Trent gave her a strange look and dared ask the question on his mind.

"Lindsay what are you doing?" Trent asked her.

"Going to the bathroom." Lindsay told him. "Duh!"

"Lindsay, this is a stairwell." Trent smirked at her. "You're going to the bathroom in a staircase that smells like weed."

"Oh!" Lindsay looked around. "I guess I just forgot."

"How long have you been going to the bathroom here?" Trent found himself asking her.

"For the past week." Lindsay told him. "I was wondering why they're weren't that many toilets in here."

"There aren't any toilets here at all." Trent told her. "Hey, do you want to hear this song I've been writing?"

"I'd love to Tyler!" Lindsay clapped "That's so romantic!"

"Lindsay, my name is Trent and Tyler broke up with you a week ago because you didn't know who he was." Trent sighed. "Now I feel like a horrible person for saying that..."

"Awwww he dumped me?" Lindsay sighed. "I can't believe he would do that to me."

"I can't believe that everyone has to remind you." Trent mumbled under his breath. "Lindsay, I'm sorry that he broke up with you."

"So, do you wanna date me?" Lindsay asked. "You have a guitar and write songs in the bathroom!"

"Lindsay, this is a stairwell and I don't want to date you." Trent sighed. "I like someone else! Plus, you're ruining my song inspiration."

"Can I be a muse?" Lindsay sat next to Trent. "Ya know? like one of those hot girls who inspire guys to write songs about them?"

"I'd like it better if you didn't." Trent sighed as Lindsay sat down next to him.

"How about we write a song about Kittens? Oh, and lipstick!" Lindsay suggested "that would be a great idea, don't you think so Travis?"

"What would we call it?" Trent laughed. "The Lipstick on the kitten at the mall?"

"Yeah!" Lindsay clapped "It would be the best song ever! Who doesn't love the mall and makeup?"

Trent stood up and picked his guitar up.

"I'm going to the pool to find some inspiration." Trent informed Lindsay. "While I'm gone try to remember that this isn't a bathroom and Tyler dumped you."

"Okay!" Lindsay waved. "Bye Travis!"

"It's T-R-E-N-T." Trent rolled his eyes. "Trent!"

Trent stormed out and left Lindsay standing there confused.

* * *

**Trentsay is apparently a couple and I don't get it. However, Lindsay isn't my favorite character, I dislike her a lot. I think Tyler would do better off alone. I don't like the typical stupid blonde type and I never found her funny even in season 1. Trent would need a girl with a brain who can hold a conversation and Lindsay isn't capable of doing it, let alone remember where she even is half the time. Opinions? What should I do next? **


	12. Bridgekiel

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Bridgette was preparing to hang out and play some volleyball with Leshawna and Harold, now all she was waiting for Geoff to come and get her. They couldn't wait to play against Leshawna and Harold, they knew they could kick some ass and win this game! They've been waiting for this game for 3 days. Bridgette was pumped.

Finally the knock on her door came and she was so excited that she jogged over to the door, ready to kick some ass. When she opened the door however she was surprised that Zeke was standing there holding a droopy daisy and standing there with a big grin on his face.

"Oh, hey Zeke." Bridgette faked a smile and went to shut the door

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Zeke asked her.

"I have a boyfriend." Bridgette told him.

"Since when, eh?" Zeke asked. "I always liked you since day one on season 1."

"I've been dating Geoff since season 1." Bridgette told him. "Uh...Sorry?"

"So, do you want to be my girlfriend?" Zeke still asked her. "You could just forget about Geoff and we could start dating! I know you like the hot tub and I've submerged my head under the water to look at you from...Uh...Under the water and you look beautiful...like a mermaid."

"Uh...Zeke I don't want to date you." Bridgette told him. "You're sexist and you're rude and I don't know you well considering you get voted out first every single time you play."

"Do I even stand a chance, eh?" Zeke asked hopefully.

"Last night I saw you looking at Anne Maria in her room." Bridgette told him. "You used a ladder. You're creepy and weird and I have a boyfriend and I tried to be nice but you just don't take the hint...So, I'm just going to shut the door now and hopefully you'll leave."

Before Zeke could say anything, Bridgette slammed the door in his face leaving homeschool in the hallway. Zeke took the hint and went to grab a ladder and watch Dakota in her room instead.

* * *

**Okay, so I don't actually hate this couple or like it. I find it to be an extremely confusing pair and I don't understand how anyone can ship Bridgette with anyone else except Geoff. So far they're the only ones who managed to have a relationship and not piss me off. I actually like the idea of Zeke/Anne Maria and I'm sure I'm alone on that, he was sweet to her and she was kind of a bitch. I think that Zeke is just socially awkward and has a problem with girls, I think his intentions are well meaning, however being home schooled made him awkward. I think with proper development of his character maybe they could find someone for him. But Bridgette? I think not. **


	13. LightMaria

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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10:37pm was the time at the playa and it was a beautiful summer night and everyone else was out at the bonfire that Chris had to get the girls to show up in skimpy outfits and make out with their boyfriends, everyone would surely be there except Anne Maria who would only go out in the sunlight. So, since all of those girls were outside that meant that she could have the whole girls bathroom all to herself. She had her lipstick, Hairspray and tan-in-a-can all lined up on the sink and was making kissy faces at herself while looking at her ass and checking herself out. She looked like a trashy hooker who auditioned for Jersey shore and couldn't make the final cut.

"Don't I look good?" Anne Maria asked herself as she kissed the mirror, leaving a lip print on the glass. "Mirror Mirror stuck to the wall, Aren't I the sexiest one of all?"

Suddenly while she was admiring herself, Lightning stormed into the bathroom with his weights and started to flex his muscles. Of course because he entered the room, that made Anne Maria the 2nd hottest person in the room, anyone could walk in the room and would look better than Anne Maria. So since Lightning was flexing, Anne Maria noticed that he looked better than her and he couldn't allow that at all.

"Lightning, why ain't ya at dat bonfiya?" Anne Maria asked him in a language that was some form of Jersey style English.

"Me?" Lightning glared at her. "Why aren't you at the bonfire?"

"No sun." Anne Maria glared at him and sprayed her hair. "Why ya in da gals room?"

"Because Justin is in the sha boys sha room." Lightning told her. "He was sha ruining sha my sha concentration."

"So, ya decided to cum inta da gals room?" Anne Maria asked him. "GET OUT!"

"Say what?" Lightning glared at her. "This was my sha idea!"

"Well ders a girl in a dress on da door!" Anne Maria yelled "Do you wheer dresses?"

"Well No but sha Justin was sha in the sha dudes room!" Lightning yelled and picked up some weights and kissed his muscles

"What?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Sha-what?"

"?"

Lightning yelled things that involved the word Sha in front of every other word and Anne Maria said something in her bad Jersey accident. These two could not understand each other. Anne Maria got frustrated and took all her products from the sink and stormed out leaving Lightning all alone in the bathroom confused.

"What just sha happened?" Lightning asked himself as he smiled at himself and flexed his muscles.

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**Okay, so this isn't my favorite pairing. I don't even understand how people ship this. My opinion? This is like the JustHer of season 4. It's pointless and both of these characters kinda piss me off. Anne Maria is difficult to understand and Lightning pisses me off with his constant Sha talk. I personally think he has no business even being in the new season. He's a horrible player in my opinion. I'm just glad Anne Maria is out of the new season. I think I know maybe 2 people on this site who ship this. Can someone even tell me HOW this happened? I think a conversation between the two of them would be hilariously unintelligent but nothing in the romance business. They wouldn't even be good friends and both of them might be in summer school English class together. I've seen a sex fic about them once and I couldn't take it seriously. I just picture two people speaking English poorly while on top of each other and not fully understanding what's going on. They would never be on the same page of life. **


	14. Gwody

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

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Gwen was listening to some music on her ipod as she got in the elevator to head back to her room at the playa after a long day of hanging out with her friends by the pool. Unfortunately for Gwen she got stuck on the elevator with Cody, which wasn't surprising at all because Cody usually planned something like this at least once a week. It took 2 minutes to get from the lobby to her room in that elevator and those two minutes were always the longest in Gwen's life. This week wasn't any different.

"Hey Gwen!" Cody stood next to her as close as humanly possible.

"Oh, hey Cody." Gwen took her headphones out and put them in her pockets. "What's up?"

"Do you wanna go out with me?" Cody asked her hopefully.

"No, I have a boyfriend." Gwen sighed. "I told you that last week and last month and last summer and back in season 1 on the first day of camp. I also told you to get out of my bed on the first night of camp too!"

"C'mon! Why won't you ever give me a chance!" Cody annoyingly asked. "You kissed everyone else on this show! When will it be my turn?!"

"You're like my little brother." Gwen smirked. "I already told you that. Cody you're making this weird."

"Hey Gwen. If I pushed the emergency stop button, we could be stuck in this elevator together for a really long time." Cody smirked at Gwen.

"If you press any button then I'm going to have to kill you." Gwen smacked Cody's hand away from the button.

"Why won't you go out with me?" Cody asked again.

"Cody, I don't like you that way." Gwen smacked her head against the wall and sighed. "I see you as my brother or that annoying kid who lives next door."

"In some states that's legal." Cody smiled.

"Lucky for us, this is Canada." Gwen rolled her eyes. "Cody, you should just date Sierra! You two are both meant to be together."

"Ewwww!" Cody glared. "I could never date her! Why would you think we would be perfect together?"

"Because you're both stalkers." Gwen told him. "Cody, you need to get over me! I can't even change clothes in my room anymore without getting paranoid."

You cleaned my bathroom window!" Gwen sighed in annoyance. "While I was in the shower!"

"To be fair, I didn't see much." Cody added in. Luckily for Gwen she was at her floor and got out quickly.

"Hey Gwen..." Cody asked her and she turned around.

"What Cody?" Gwen glared at her.

"I'll give you $40 bucks for your socks right now if you don't ask me what I'm going to do with them." Cody took the money out of his pocket and waved the money in front of her.

"You're lucky I'm broke." Gwen took off her shoes and tossed him her socks and took the money and walked away rolling her eyes. Easiest 40 bucks she ever made.

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**Never cared for this couple. It is just wishful thinking on Cody's part and I think Gwen would kiss Harold before Cody. This will never happen at all. I don't understand how people can ship this. Cody to me should be with Sierra because as I said before, they are both creepy in their own way. In fact someone should write a story about Owen/Cody/Sierra/Izzy living in a house together while they make it their personal mission to annoy the shit out of everyone and stalk people until the police take them away for being creepers. Seriously, someone should write this and call it 'Creeper's Condo." I seriously think those 4 could all tie for the biggest creep on the show. So, thoughts? **


End file.
